The Sick Boy and the Sitter

Television comedy writer Rob Petrie talks his wife Laura into leaving their sick son Richie with a babysitter while they attend a party at the home of TV star Alan Brady.

Plot
Alan invites Rob, Sally, Buddy, and their respective significant others to attend what he considers an important soirée that evening at his penthouse apartment. When Rob arrives home to tell Laura, she in turn informs Rob that they can't go because Richie is on the verge of an illness. Although Richie is showing no signs of illness, Laura's intuition tells her that if they go to the party, something terrible is going to happen while they're gone. Laura also doesn't see why they should have to go as she is certain the only reason Alan has invited Rob, Sally and Buddy is to have them be the night's entertainment.

Main

 * Dick Van Dyke: Rob Petrie
 * Mary Tyler Moore: Laura Petrie
 * Larry Mathews: Richie Petrie
 * Rose Marie: Sally Rogers
 * Morey Amsterdam: Buddy Sorrell
 * Richard Deacon: Mel Cooley

Supporting

 * Michael Keith: Sam
 * Barbara Eiler: Dotty
 * Mary Lee Dearring: Janie
 * Stacy Keach: Dr. Miller
 * Eleanor Audley: Party Goer 1
 * Fred Sherman: Party Goer 2

Mentioned

 * Alan Brady
 * Ellen
 * Uncle Henry

Locations

 * Petrie House (Kitchen, Richie's bedroom)
 * Writers' Office
 * Alan's Penthouse

Did You Know?

 * Differences from all future episodes:
 * The Petries' neighbors are Sam and Dottie, not Jerry and Millie Helper.
 * The kitchen and the writers' office are different.
 * Richie's bedroom is located on the opposite side of the house.

Quotes
"I wrote down a quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson. What show does he write for?"

- Rob and Buddy

"I have a date with an unmarried accountant, and I want to get there before he gets married!"

- Sally

"And Mr. Cooley is paid to produce this show because- Because he's the star's brother-in-law."

- Sally and Buddy

"Alright, how long have you been spying on us, Curly? Rob, as the producer of this show, once more I must insist that you instruct your staff to show me a little respect. We're showing you as little respect as possible."

- Buddy and Mel

"Well, he's not exactly a what-have-you...he's more of a what-is-it."

- Sally about her date

"How do you know he's sick? Well, there are symptoms! What symptoms? Well... Come on, I'm the boy's father! He turned down his cupcake. [exaggeratedly] He turned down his cupcake?! And you didn't call an ambulance?!"

- Rob and Laura about Richie's supposed illness

"Fifteen today isn’t like when you were fifteen. If you were fifteen years old today, you’d have to be at least twenty-three!"

- Rob to Laura

"Robert, will you please put my liver back?"

- Laura

"I'm as good a mother as you are!"

- Rob

"What did you say was in the bottom drawer of the refrigerator? Who knows! If it's food, eat it. If it's a phone number, call it!"

- Janie and Rob